AEIOU

One model of effective communication that I like is what’s known as A-E-I-O-U (Wisinski, 1993). This model works with any level of conflict within the organization: employee-to-boss, peer-to-peer or boss-to-employee. Here’s how it works:

A – Acknowledge: (Positive intention) Assume the other person means well. Identify his/her positive intention and state it to the other person. Announce this as you begin facilitating the problem-solving.

E – Express: (What I see) Affirm the positive intention you’ve identified and express your own specific concern. “I feel/think”… If you’re mediating, invite each disputant to take a few minutes to clarify their specific worries and problems.

I – Identify: (I propose) Clearly define your objectives and recommendations. What’s the outcome each party wants to achieve? Non-defensively propose the changes you would like to see occur. Saying, “I would like,” as opposed to, “I want,” will avoid inciting a defensive reaction. Here’s where compromise may occur naturally.

O – Outcome: (Outline the benefits of the outcome) What’s in it for them if they agree to accommodate? People respond much more positively when they can buy into the reason for changing their actions or behavior. What are the features or advantages? Don’t forget one of the most powerful motivators is simply recognition: “Thanks, I appreciate your flexibility with this issue.” “I owe you one.”- goes a long way toward harmony.

U – Understanding: (Ask for feedback on what has been proposed) Get agreement on a specific action step – or develop alternatives. Asking, “Could we agree to try this for a while and see if it works out for both of us?” gives the other person the option to accept your proposal. Clarify as needed.